


CaliforM.I.A. is a mood dude

by Bee_Boy



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Holster cannot handle quarantine, M/M, Musical References, Not Beta Read, Secret Relationship, Unknown roommate girl, musical crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:55:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23291311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bee_Boy/pseuds/Bee_Boy
Summary: Quick drabble of Haus 2.0 during quarantine.
Relationships: Adam "Holster" Birkholtz/Justin "Ransom" Oluransi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	CaliforM.I.A. is a mood dude

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of all over the place because it only took like half an hour for me to write and is like 40% song lyrics. 100% not beta read. Enjoy my documented dumbassary. Also i couldn't add the tags I want because I'm using mobile, sorry.

“I swear to every single hockey god if I hear something about that wiggly thing from him I will not be responsible for my actions.” Roommate girl screams while bursting through her bedroom door.

“Sorry bro,” Shitty starts to apologize. “But this is how he’s coping without social interaction from anyone besides us three. I mean, it wasn’t that bad until this morning.” 

“He can only go a full seventy-two hours without outside contact before bursting out in showtunes. He will sing all parts unless someone joins in, so be grateful Ransom was easily convinced to join in with him. Honestly now, it’s either join in or enjoy the free entertainment of these fools.” Lardo drinks coffee from her mug. “Reminds me of Haus 1.0 when we got snowed in without power for a week. At least when they have a dispute over lyrics they can resolve it by looking them up.”

Roommate girl sighs, “Can’t he at least keep it down?”

Right on cue there’s a shout as the song changes, “My mom’s a bitch!”

“Holster is physically impossible of doing so, he’ll stop to eat soon. But, he’ll still be talking.” Lardo continues, “Trust me I’ve tried everything, including sticking a sock in his mouth.”

-Meanwhile with Holster and Ransom-

Once they finish with the wiggly jingle Holster thinks aloud, “Dude, you know the perfect song for right now?”

“You thinking what I’m thinking bro?” Ransom knows they’re in sync eighty percent of the time, but it’s better to clarify in case.

“CaliforM.I.A.?” they say in unison.

So of course they immediately pull it up after having a ten second discussion of who’d be Lex and who’d be Eathan (Ransom is Eathan becauses he’s “a good speller” and Holster is Lex because he’s “going to be an actress”)

“My mom’s a bitch!” Holster’s voice booms, “An alcoholic, a melancholic, that we keep afloat. It’s time to flip the switch, when the problem’s chronic, not being hyperbolic, but it’s time to ghost.”

Ransom’s whisper of “fucking ghosts” goes unnoticed

“And when the sun shines down upon me, I’ll know I’m righteous babe, it’s this time of crisis babe. And when the sun shines down over Cali, the future’s priceless babe. The past’s a virus babe.”  
Ransom can’t lie, Holster as Lex calling him babe is unbelievably attractive, and if it weren’t for the fact that he can see everyone watching them he’d stop the song by jumping the guy to let him know how much he loves it. But they agreed they wouldn’t tell anyone about their recent development of their relationship, even during quarantine. Well, especially during quarantine, since it’s kind of what helped them get together? The first night Holster snuck into Ransom’s room and confessed he wouldn’t hate “social distancing” so long as he could kiss Ransom at least once a day. Then they talked and dtf, then Holster had them watch all of Blackfriday because it is a “mood, bro.”

Anyways, back to the present, Holster is still singing, holding out the A too long, queueing Ransom to snap back into reality and sing the next part. 

“Cause we’re CalirforM.I.A” they sing together before Ransom takes over as Eathan, “It beats being broke, in this day and ages, what’s the point of wages, if you can’t afford to smoke?”

Shitty can be heard saying “Fucking amen bro” in the bacjground, but is thouroughly ignored by both of them.

“It’s not a trope, I’ll be an actress, cause I’ve had practice” of course Holster decides to wink with this line, “Selling hope.”

“And when the sun shines down upon us, we’ll know righteous babe, we survived the crisis babe. And when the sun shines over Cali, we won’t need a license, cause love will drive us”

This is the point where they seem to both internally say “fuck it” before going in for the kiss, which doesn’t come until the END of the song you idiots. There’s no getting out of this now, their roommates have seen, and neither are stopping. Great.

-SMH group chat-

Shits&giggles: I thought being stuck with H&R meant shitty reenactments of musicals with two giant beautiful men, not softcore porn in the middle of my fucking living room, but I’m not complaining.

Bittyboi: Excuse me, WHAT?

DuckDuan: They sang a duet and then started macking. We’ve tried all but actually touching them to get them to stop. 

Holstmetight: fuck you, this is our living room too

DuckDuan: yea and like i wouldn’t care but roommate is complaining dudes :/

Holstmetight: fine we’ll go to my room and continue

Shits&Giggles: how the fuck did you text us while sucking face dude.

Holstmetight: practice ;)

Bittyboi: ok, so, let me say this again but like, what? The everloving? God fearing christianity? Was that?

Rainsome: me & holsty started dating like two days ago and I couldn’t hold back when he called me/eathan babe. I had to kiss him

Nurse: that;s so fucking gay dudes.

Rainsome: you’re fucking gay

Nurse: yes, thus i can verify that;s some certified gay shit.

Dexk: “me/eathan” ??

Rainsome: Ethan from Blackfriday, we were singing califormia

Nurse: musical = extra gay. Fucking gays.

Holstmetight: alright, if no one has any impactful input me n rans are gonna get back to making out bye.


End file.
